AIM with Breaking Dawn
by Fishey Stories
Summary: What happens when the characters of Breaking Dawn discover AIM? Mayhem, of course. Rated T for language and suggestive themes. Very random. Never ends.
1. AIM User Names

**AIM with Breaking Dawn**

(Spoilers Included, Beware)

Edward: PillowBiter02

Bella: StupidLamb09

Emmett: MannlyMan01

Carlisle: ILostMyMeds08

Esme: MotherlyFigure108

Alice: iHazTehVizion

Jasper: MoodyGuy2

Rosalie: iHateWolfShapeshifters

Renesmee: JacobIzaStalker

Jacob: RenesmeeIsSexy

Mike: iLoveBannanas

Charlie: NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth

Reene: iHateForksandspoons

Aro: ImTehKing

Jane: PainIsFun

Alec: iLoveJane

Felix: ImStrongerThanEmmett

Jessica: iWishIwasBella


	2. Emmett and Hannah Montana

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or Hannah Montana.

This chapter was FUN to write. And thanks for all the feedback. Heck, I haven't had this posted for more than an hour, and my inbox is flooded!

-PillowBiter Has Entered The Chat Room-

-StupidLamb Has Entered The Chat Room-

Stupidlamb: Hey Eddiekinz!

Pillowbiter: Hey Bella

Pillowbiter: By The Way

Pillowbiter: DONT CALL ME EDDIEKINZ!

-Mannlyman has entered the chat room-

Mannlyman: SUP HOMIE DOG G, BISCUIT HOMESLICE FOSHIZZLA?!

Mannlyman: WHY IS EVERYTHING IN SUCH BIG LETTERS?

Mannlyman: WHAT DID ROSE DO TO MY COMPUTER??

Stupidlamb: lol Emmett

Mannlyman: DO NOT LAUGH AT MEH PAIN!!1

Pillowbiter: Emmett, it's called Caps Lock. Turn it off.

Mannlyman: WHY SHOULD I? MAYBE I LIKE BIG LETTERS!

Stupidlamb: Emmet you just said you didn't want big letters

Mannlyman: WELL, I CHANGED MEH MIND! GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

Pillowbiter: Emmett, are you suffering from PMS?

Pillowbiter: Or are you bipolar? Like Hannah Montana

Mannlyman: PMS? WTH IS THAT? SOUNDS KEWL, WHERE CAN I GET ONE!

Mannlyman: FYI HANNAH MONTANNA IS MONTANNA'S CAPITAL. EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.

Stupidlamb: Hannah Montana is a singer, Emmett.

Pillowbiter: Yea, she's 14, has blond beautiful hair...

Stupidlamb: EDWARD!!

Pillowbiter: Erm, sorry.

-IhateWolfShapeshifters Has Entered The Chatroom-

Mannlyman: THIS HANNAH MONTANA SOUNDS HAWT! -LOOKS UP HER PICTURE ON GOOGLE IMAGES-

Mannlyman: OMC, SHE'S GORGEOUS!

-Mannlyman has left the chatroom-

IhateWolfShapeshifters: EMMETT MARIE CULLEN!!

Pillowbiter: ...

Stupidlamb: ...

Stupidlamb: Your middle name is..._Marie?_

Stupidlamb: LOL!!

Pillowbiter: Laugh Out Loud!

Stupidlamb: Ya know, Edward, you could just say lol

Pillowbiter: But that is incorrect grammar.

Stupidlamb: Yea, but it's easier to type. I'll prove it to you:

Stupidlamb: LOL!

Stupidlamb: Laugh Out Loud!

Pillowbiter: Wow, it took you only 2 extra seconds to write Bella.

Stupidlamb: But that's two extra seconds I will never have back.

PillowBiter: You have all of eternity, Bella.

Stupidlamb: So...

IhateWolfShapeshifters: WHERE IS EMMETT?

PillowBiter: OH MY CULLEN!

PillowBiter: MY SESES ARE TINGLING!

IhateWolfShapeshifters: JUST SPIT IT OUT!!

Stupidlamb: WHY ARE WE ALL TALKING IN CAPS??

Pillowbiter: He's after Hannah Montana!

IhateWolfShapeshifters: AND WHAT DOES HE PLAN ON DOING TO HER!

-Ihaztehvision enters the chatroom-

iHaztehvision: Why do I see Hannah Montana screaming in pain?

IhateWolfShapeshifters: EMMETT'S GOING TO BITE HER!?

-Ilostmymeds has entered the chatroom-

ilostmymeds: HANNAH MONTANA IS JOING OUR FAMILY?

Ilostmymeds: YIPPEEDOODLES!

Ilostmymeds: I mean, ahem this is a very bad thing

IhateWolfShapeshifters: NOT YOU TOO CARLISLE!

IhateWolfShapeshifters: UGH! SOMEBODY STOP HIM!!

-IhateWolfShapeshifters has left the chatroom-

-iHaztehvision has left the chatroom-

-ilostmymeds has left the chatroom-

-Stupidlamb has left the chatroom-

-Pillowbiter has left the chatroom-

-MoodyGuy has entered the chatroom-

MoodyGuy: Where is everyone?


	3. Bad Emmett

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or Hannah Montana

I wanted to thank everyone, we have so many hits! It's UNBELIEVABLE! I've had fun with Emmett in this story! Hahaha!! Thanks for reading!

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-MannlyMan enters chatroom-

Mannlyman: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!1

Mannlyman: WHY DOES THIS WORLD HAVE TO BE SO CRUEL?

Mannlyman: WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?

-Moodyguy enters chatroom-

Moodyguy: What's wrong Emmett?

Mannlyman: I BIT HANNAH MONTANA!!

Moodyguy: YOU BIT HANNAH MONTANA?!

Moodyguy: Sweet!

Mannlyman: THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER BLOOD!

Moodyguy: Why doesn't that surprise me?

Moodyguy: Will she be joining our family?

Mannlyman: NO! SHE HAD THE OPPOSITE EFFECT OF MY VENOM!

Moodyguy: What happened?

Mannlyman: SHE...

Moodyguy: It's okay Emmett, you can say it!

Mannlyman: SHE...!!

Moodyguy: SAY IT ALREADY!

Mannlyman: SHE TURNED INTO A WOLF!

Mannlyman: SHE JOINED A PACK TO THE SOUTH OF HERE!!

Mannlyman: HER BLOOD WAS ALL WRONGISH!

Moodyguy: Are you sure it wasn't her blood that was the problem?

Mannlyman: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

Mannlyman: NO, SERIOUSLY, WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

Mannlyman: -THINKS REAL HARD ABOUT IT-

Moodyguy: Wow, Emmett.

-Moodyguy leaves the Chatroom-

-ihateWolfShapeshifters Enters Chatroom-

IhateWolfShapeshifters: EMMETT YOU IDIOT! WHY DID YOU BITE HER? UGH! THAT'S IT!!

Mannlyman: NJFNJFNJD84NM3BBT93 093BRJFBNF38RHF... OWWWWWW

IhateWolfShapeshifters: TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!!

Jacobizastalker enters chatroom

Jacobizastalker: Aunt Rose?

IhateWolfShapeshifters: Yes, darling?

Jacobizastalker: Why the hell are you beating the crap out of Uncle Emmett?

IhateWolfShapeshifters: RENESMEE CULLEN! Where did you learn that language?

Jacobizastalker: Uncle Emmett.

Jacobizastalker: I also learned fu-

IhateWolfShapeshifters: EMMETT MARIE CULLEN!!

Mannlyman- WHAT? SOMEONE HAD TO TEACH THE KID SOME MANNLY WORDS!!1

Mannlyman: ROSE ST- HJBVHBSHFBDHSBVH OWWWWWWWWWWW!!1

-Pillowbiter has entered the Chatroom-

Pillowbiter: Rose, why are you beating up Emmett?

Jacobizastalker: Daddy! I learned a new sentence!

Pillowbiter: And what is that, honey?

Jacobizastalker: Go to hell Emmett!

Pillowbiter: ...

Pillowbiter: AND WHAT MORON TAUGHT YOU THAT SENTENCE?!

Jacobizastalker: Aunt Rosalie!

Jacobizastalker: And Aunt Alice,

Jacobizastalker:And Grandma Esme,

Jacobizastalker: And Grandpa Carlisle,

Jacobizastalker: And Uncle Jasper,

Jacobizastalker: And Mommy!

Pillowbiter: EMMETT!

Mannlyman: STOP ROSE! GO AWAY ED-

Mannlyman: HNJBFDBFSDF FISDGFRE8TFNDJFH OWWWWWWWWWW!!

-Stupidlamb enters chatroom-

Stupidlamb: OOO, Catfight!

Jacobizastalker: Mommy, why were you and Daddy wrestling each other naked last night?

Stupidlamb: Renesmee!! You were supposed to be sleeping!

Jacobizastalker: I couldn't fall asleep! You guys were too loud!

Pillowbiter: I'm back.

Jacobizastalker: Daddy, why were you and Mommy wrestling each other naked last night?

Pillowbiter: SOMEONE NEEDS TO CLEANSE THIS CHILDS MIND!

-Pillowbiter left the chatroom-

-Stupidlamb left the chatroom-

-Jacobizastalker left the chatroom-

Mannlyman: HEY ROSE, WANNA "WRESTLE" WITH ME TONIGHT? -WINK-

IhateWolfShapeshifters: WHY DON'T YOU ASK HANNAH MONTANA?

-IhateWolfShapeshifters left the chatroom-

Mannlyman: DARN!


	4. AIM Party!

**Disclaimer**: Don't own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does

This chapter it awesome! Well, I wrote 4 chapters in one night. I think I'm done. I'll write more in the morning. -yyyyaaaawwwwnnnn-

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-PillowBiter Enters Chatroom-

-Stupidlamb Enters Chatroom-

-Mannlyman Enters Chatroom-

-ilostmymeds Enters Chatroom-

-Motherlyfigure Enters Chatroom-

-iHazTehVizion Enters Chatroom-

-MoodyGuy2 Enters Chatroom-

-iHateWolfShapeshifters Enters Chatroom-

-JacobIzaStalker Enters Chatroom-

-RenesmeeIsSexy Enters Chatroom-

ilostmymeds: CULLEN FAMILY MEETING!

IhateWolfShapeshifters: HE SAID CULLEN FAMILY MEETING!! GET OUT DOG!

RenesmeeisSexy: SHUT UP BLONDIE!

Pillowbiter: I find your screename disturbing, Jacob.

Jacobizastalker: I find it very well fitting, Daddy...

Pillowbiter: Once again, SOMEONE NEEDS TO CLENSE THIS CHILD'S MIND!

Motherlyfigure- ANYWAY, Carlisle and I are leaving tonight. I expect all of you cough Emmett to be on your best behavior

Mannlyman: DARNIT!

ilostmymeds: And no throwing a house party cough Alice.

IhazTehVizion: DARNIT!

Motherlyfigure: Bye Guys!

Jacobizastalker: Hey Grandma and Grandpa?

ilostmymeds: Yes, Renesmee?

Jacobizastalker: Can I wrestle with Jacob tonight?

Motherlyfigure: What do you mean by wre...

Motherlyfigure: Oh god!

Stupidlamb: RENESMEE! NO YOU MOST CERTAINLY NOT!

Pillowbiter: I'll get the holy water!

-Motherlyfigure has left the chatroom-

ilostmymeds: I'm watching you!

Ilostmymeds: 00

-ilostmymeds has left the chatroom-

ihaztehvision: PARTY TIME!!

Moodyguy: Alice, you heard Carlisle and Esme!

Ihaztehvision: They said no house parties. They never said anything about AIM parties!

Renesmeeissexy: OH GOD!

Stupidlamb: You're evil!

Mannlyman: I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK!!1

Pillowbiter: Emmett, will you do us all a favor and turn off Caps lock?

Mannlyman: GURRRR!

Pillowbiter: Nevermind!

Ihaztehvizion: -turns on Soulja Boy-

Renesmeeissexy: -turns on nickelback-

Moodyguy: -turns on The Star Spangled Banner-

Pillowbiter: -turns on debussy-

Jacobizastalker: -turns on Rhianna-

Stupidlamb: -turns on Coldplay-

IhateWolfShapeshifters: -turns on Plain White T's-

Mannlyman: -TURNS ON HANNAH MONTANA-

Mannlyman: -SOB-

IhateWolfShapeshifters: EMMETT!!

Mannlyman: NOOO...BJHBFHBHDFBHRW 47H4GB5RFGH4RH4GFHVDGV OWWWWWWW!

IhateWolfShapeshifters: YOU DESERVE THAT!!

-ilikebananas Enters the chatroom-

iLikeBananas: Word on the street has it, Cullen's are throwing an AIM party.

IhateWolfShapeshifters: Who the hell is this?

Ilikebananas: This is Mike from da hood!

Mannlyman: MIKE NEWTON! HEY MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHA' MOTHA'!

Stupidlamb: Emmett, you don't have a mother.

IlikeBananas: Hey Bella!

Stupidlamb: NOT INTERESTED MIKE!

Ilikebananas: Rawr!

Stupidlamb: Hey Mike, whatever happened to my garnet?

Ilikebananas: I KNOW NOTHING!

Pillowbiter: He has it framed in his bedroom!

Stupidlamb: PERVERT!

Ihaztehvizion: I thought Jazz, Carlisle, Emm and Ed were supposed to be the perverts...?

Moodyguy: WHAT? LIES!

Pillowbiter: WHAT? LIES!

Mannlyman: TRUE.

IlikeBananas: How did you know that, Edward?

Pillowbiter: I stalk you every night.

Pilowbiter: I'm watching your every move 00

iLikebananas: Creepy.

-Imtehking has entered chatroom-

imtehking: Word on the street is, Cullens are having a party. Is this true.

Mannlyman: AND WHAT LOSER IS ASKING?! GET OUT MORON!!1

Imtehking: Aro of the Volturi.

-IhateWolfShapeshifters: EMMETT!!

-Stupidlamb: EMMETT! YIKES!

-PillowBiter has left the Chatroom-

-Stupidlamb has left the Chatroom-

-Mannlyman has left the Chatroom-

-iHazTehVizion has left the Chatroom-

-MoodyGuy has left the Chatroom-

-iHateWolfShapeshifters has left the Chatroom-

-JacobIzaStalker has left the Chatroom-

-RenesmeeIsSexy has left the Chatroom-

ilikebananas: The Volturi? What's that? Is it an illegal Pimp club?

Imtehking: Were vampires you foolish mortal!

Ilikebananas: Oooo! Are you an illegal underground strip club? Sign me up! Can I be a pole dancer? I have a verry big and appealing b-

imtehking: I have to go.

-Imtehking has left the chatroom-

ilikebananas: Is that a yes or a no?


	5. The Volturi Rabbits

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight

Hey guys! Thanks for all your feedback. And I apologize to those who has Coke come out there nose and to those who almost wet themselves! Anyway, this chapter isn't as funny as the other ones (In My Opinion) It will get better though!

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-mannlyman has entered chatroom-

-pillowbiter has entered chatroom-

-stupidlamb has entered chatroom-

mannlyman: OMG! BIG NEWS EVERYONE! VERRY BIG NEWS!!

pillowbiter: What is it, Emmett? Is someone hurt!?

Mannlyman: NO, IT"S EVEN WORSE!! IT'S ABOUT THE VOLTURI!!

Stupidlamb: What?! Are they after us!

Mannlyman: NO! IT'S EVEN MORE TERRIBLE THAN THAT!

Mannlyman: THEY NOW HAVE VOLTURI RABBITS AND ARE SELLING THEM AT LOCAL PETSTORES! I TOLD YOU IT WAS BAD!!

Pillowbiter: Volturi rabbits? As in bunnies?

Mannlyman: YES, AND THERE SELLING THEM TO INNOCENT HUMANS AS PETS. I BET THOSE ARE VERY EVIL BUNNIES!

Stupidlamb: How do we know your telling the truth?

Mannlyman: HAH! I KNEW YOU WOULD SAY THAT! I BROUGHT SOME HOME! I ALSO BROUGHT HOME A BLACK RABBIT. POOR LITTLE THING.

Pillowbiter: What's wrong with the black rabbit?

Mannlyman: IT'S EMO! DUH!

Stupidlamb: Emmett, you're quite sad.

Pillowbiter: -sigh- Show us the rabbits, Emmett.

Mannlyman: OKAY, BRB!

-Moodyguy enters the chatroom-

Moodyguy: Why am I getting total stress waves from Emmett?

Pillowbiter: He claims he found some Volturi rabbits. He's getting them now.

Moodyguy: Volturi rabbits?

Stupidlamb: That's what we said.

Moodyguy: This should be interesting.

Mannlyman: I'M BACK!

Pillowbiter: You're awful slow for a Vampire.

Mannlyman: ALICE JUST DID MY HAIR, AND I DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN IT'S PERFECTION.

Stupidlamb: No comment.

Mannlyman: ANYWAY...

Mannlyman: SEE? THEY'RE VOLTURI RABBITS! THEY'RE WHITE AND HAVE RED EYES! AND THIS ONE'S EMO!!

Pillowbiter: OH MY CULLEN! EMMETT'S RIGHT! THIS IS SERIOUS!

Moodyguy: THIS CAN'T BE GOOD!

Stupidlamb: YOU IDIOTS! Those are albino bunnies. Like me!

Mannlyman: BELLA!! YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE A RABBIT!!

Pillowbiter: -GASP-

Stupidlamb: I'M PART ALBINO AS MY HERRITAGE MORONS! Anyway, they're perfectly normal rabbits.

Pillowbiter: Oh!

Moodyguy: Oh!

Mannlyman: LIAR!! OH NO! THE EVIL VOLTURI RABBITS HAVE GOTTEN TO YOU TOO!

Mannlyman: JUST LIKE CARLISLE!

Moodyguy: Whats wrong with Carlisle?!

Mannlyman: HE LOVES THE BUNNIES! HE FELL UNDER THEIR EVIL SPELL!!

Stupidlamb: Let me make this simple for you. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THESE BUNNIES! THEY ARE ABSOULTELY FINE! THERE OWNER ON THE OTHER HAND...

Pillowbiter: We need to return these as soon as possible.

Moodyguy: Do we? I was hoping to keep them as a midnight snack...

Stupidlamb: NO!

Moodyguy: Okay, I was just saying...

Pillowbiter: Give me the bunnies, Emmett.

Mannlyman: NEVER!

Stupidlamb: EDWARD! STOP!

Pillowbiter: What is it Bella? Are you alright?

Stupidlamb: THOSE BUNNIES! YOU CAN'T GIVE THEM BACK! I... I...

Pillowbiter: What is it Bella?!

Stupidlamb: I LOVE THEM!  
(Silence)

Moodyguy: -snickers- That was unexpected!

Pillowbiter: You...love...them?

Mannlyman: HAHAHA! BELLA LOVES EVIL VAMPIRE BUNNIES!! HAHAHA!

Stupidlamb: I'm sorry Edward. I didn't plan for you to find out this way.

Stupidlamb: It's not you, it's me...

Pillowbiter: You're leaving me for a bunch of albino bunnies?

Stupidlamb: -sheepish grin-

Moodyguy: This is getting good. Hey Emmett, how 'bout you go grab some popcorn.

Mannlyman: I'M ON IT!!1

Stupidlamb: It's just when I saw the bunnies, we immediately clicked.

Pillowbiter: Bella! They're RABBITS!

Stupidlamb: I know this is hard for you Edward. We can still be friends!

-Stupidlamb has left the chatroom-

Pillowbiter: -SOB- MY WIFE LEFT ME FOR A BUNCH OF ALBINO RABBITS! -SOB-

-pillowbiter has left the chatroom-

-Moodyguy leaves the chatroom-

Mannlyman: I brought the popcorn!

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**A/N: **Don't worry! Edward and Bella will be back together! -wink-


	6. Chill Pills

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight

CHILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!! Yeah! Hope you enjoy it!

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-NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth has entered the chatroom-

-ihateforksandspoons has entered the chatroom-

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: Hey Renee.

Ihateforksandspoons: -sob- Hi charlie. :(

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: What's wrong?

Ihateforksandspoons: BELLA! -sob, sob, hyperventilate-

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: What's wrong with Bella?

Ihateforksandspoons: EXATLY!

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: Your not making any sense Renee.

Ihateforksandspoons: something is wrong with Bella. My motherly instincts are tingling.

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: Uh huhhhhhhh -rolls eyes- woman.

Ihateforksandspoons: Charlie, what's her screen name?

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: Ummmmm, I think it's something like, retardedlamb. I dunno.

Ihateforksandspoons: THINK!

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: Ummmm, stupidlamb maybe...

ihateforksandspoons: HAH! Found it.

Ihateforksandspoons: Well, it seems like she's okay. Her profile says she was on earlier today, and her comment says: "I will be on later. Right now I am in the middle of a "wrestling match"

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: Bella wrestles?

Ihateforksandspoons: Teenagers!

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: Calm down Renee, I'm sure she's fine.

-moodyguy enters chatroom-

-ihaztehvizion enters chatroom-

ihaztehvizion: Jasper, Bella and Edward are making a lot of noise. And I'm getting a headache.

Moodyguy: Vampires aren't supposed to get headaches, Alice!!

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: VAMPIRES?

Ihateforksandspoons: VAMPIRES?!

ihaztehvizion: Emmett, why did you get a new screen name? "ihateforksandspoons"? LAME!!

moodyguy: Duh, were all vampires!

Ihateforksandspoons: THIS IS RENEE!!

ihateforksandspoons: WHERE IS MY BELLA?!

ihateforksandspoons: AND WHY ARE YOU CLAIMING YOU'RE VAMPIRES?

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: Well that explains everything.

Ihaztehvizion: First of all, you're not fooling anyone Emmett.

Ihaztehvizion: Second of all, Bella is with Edward in her cottage, erm... how should I put this so your brain will understand...they're wrestling.

Ihaztehvizion: Third of all, we are vampires Emmett. It's not that hard to comprehend.

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: I'm Charlie and thats Renee!

Moodyguy: Uh oh.

Ihaztehvizion: OH SHNAP!

Moodyguy: How should we dispose of them?

Ihaztehvizion: JASPER! -slaps-

ihateforksandspoons: Why do I have a feeling that they're not wrestling?

Ihateforksandspoons: THAT'S IT! I'M COMING DOWN!

Moodyguy: NO! YOU CAN'T!!

ihateforksandspoons: WATCH ME!!

ihateforksandspoons: -nun nun nun nun nun nun nun BATMOM!-

ihaztehvizion: -snicker- Batmom. Ironic!

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?

Ihaztehvizion: Nothing. Nothing at all. -evil smile-

moodyguy: You can't come. Bella will kill you. No, literally, she WILL kill you.

Ihateforksandspoons: FORKS, HERE I COME!

-ihateforksandspoons has left the chatroom-

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: So, are you really vampires?

Ihaztehvizon: Yup

NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth: Figures.

-NoOneIsTellingMeTheTruth has left the chatroom-

Moodyguy: This isn't good.

Ihaztehvizion: Take a chill pill Jasper.

Moodyguy: No!

Ihaztehvizion: Fine, we will do it the hard way. -shoves chill pill down jaspers throat-

Moodyguy: ALICE YOU EVIL LIT-... Yea, everything's cool. Chilllllllllllllllllllllllllll! Peace out, yo'!

Ihaztehvizion: Bwahahahahahahaha!!

-ihaztehvizion has left the chatroom-

-stupidlamb has entered the chatroom-

-pillowbiter has entered the chatroom-

Stupidlamb: That was fun, Eddiepoo! Sorry about the bunnies.

Pillowbiter: Anything for you, love.

Moodyguy: Suuuuuuuuuuuup?

Stupidlamb: Hi Jazz!

Moodyguy: Chilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

Pillowbiter: Jasper, are you alright?

Moodyguy: Everything's fine! The sun is gone, the mountain lions are angry, the bears are irritatied, a tornado is on the way and charlie knows your a vampire, and renee is on her way here.

Moodyguy: Everything is great! Chillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

Pillowbiter: WHAT!?

Stupidlamb: WHAT?! RENEE'S COMING!!

Moodyguy: Isn't this great, everyone will be reunited. Chillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

Moodyguy: Y'all's stress waves are bringin' down my vibe.

Moodyguy: -shoves chill pill down Edward and Bella's throat-

Stupidlamb: JASPER YOU-... Are a very nice vampire. Thanks for setting up that date!

Pillowbiter: BELLAAAAAAAA! NO! JASPER GET YOU STUPID LITTLE BUTT... Everything is perf..,... NO, MUST RESIST URGE TO CHILL. MUST RESIST URGE TO CHILL, MUST RESIS-...ectly fine. Chillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!

Moodyguy: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Stupidlamb: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Pillowbiter: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

-ilostmymeds has entered the chatroom-

ilostmymeds: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? DID I HERE THAT CHARLIE AND RENEE ARE COMING!

Pillowbiter: Isn't that great! We will all be reunited (and it feels so good!)

ilostmymeds: OH NO! DID YOU GUYS TAKE CHILL PILLS?!

Moodyguy: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Stupidlamb: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Pillowbiter: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Ilostmymeds: AND WHO GAVE YOU THESE CHILL PILLS?

Moodyguy: Alice

Stupidlamb: Jasper

Pillowbiter: Jasper

ilostmymeds: YOU MEAN ALICE WAS IN MY MEDICAL BAG?!

Moodyguy: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Stupidlamb: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Pillowbiter: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Ilostmymeds: ALICE CULLEN!

Stupidlamb: -shoves chill pill down Carlisle's throat-

ilostMyMeds: BELLA WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DO-... Chillllllllllllllllllll!!

Moodyguy: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Stupidlamb: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Pillowbiter: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Ilostmymeds: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Pillowbiter: Here comes the tornado!

Moodyguy: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Stupidlamb: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Pillowbiter: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Ilostmymeds: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Stupidlamb: OMC! Where is Renesmee?

Stupidlamb: SHE NEEDS TO TAKE A CHILL PILL!

Ilostmymeds: We will give her one later!

Moodyguy: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Stupidlamb: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Pillowbiter: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Ilostmymeds: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Stupidlamb: Look, the tornado is in our front yard!

Moodyguy: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Stupidlamb: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Pillowbiter: Chillllllllllllllllllll!

Ilostmymeds: Chi-

_**(Power Shuts Off From Tornado)**_


	7. The Side Effect Of The Chill Pills

**I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. Schools less then a week for me and I'm busy!! Eight grade. Ugh. Story's not very long but it shall do. Hope ya like it! :)**

* * *

-Pillowbiter has entered chat-

-ihaztehvizion has entered chat-

ihaztehvizion: Hi Edward.

Pillowbiter: -heeaavvyy sigh- Hi.

Ihaztehvizion: Edward? What's wrong?

Pillowbiter: Everything. -sssiiiggghhh-

ihaztehvizion: Uhh huhhh. Like the fact you stained your new pants.

Pillowbiter: I stained my new pants. -sssiiiggghhh- Just another thing to add on to my list of things wrong with the world.

Ihaztehvizion: Edward Cullen, are you wearing nailpolish?!

Pillowbiter: Yes. I hope to cause a riot.

Ihaztehvizion: Black nailpolish. Uhh huhhh. -takes out camera- Say cheese.

Pillowbiter: Sigh

ihaztehvizion: -takes picture- This will look good on my myspace.

Pillowbiter: Myspace is a place for rapists like Emmett.

-ilostmymeds has entered the chatroom-

-Stupidlamb has entered the chatroom-

-moodyguy has entered the chatroom-

ilostmymeds: -heeeaaavvvyyy sigh-

moodyguy: -heeeaaavvviiieeerrr sigh-

stupidlamb: -heeeaaavvviiieeesssttt sigh-

ihaztehvizion: What's with you guys?

Ilostmymeds: We are emo.

Moodyguy: As a side effect from the chill pills.

Stupidlamb: but the worst part is...

Pillowbiter: We have to live with it forever.

Ihaztehvizion: The emoness is only supposed to last for a couple of hours?

Pillowbiter: A couple of hours is a long time Alice.

Ihaztehvizion: Not when you have all of eternity.

-mannlyman has entered the chatroom-

mannlyman: HEY WHASSUP YALL HOMIE G HOME SKILLET BISCUT DAWGS!?

moodyguy: Oh no. A prep/rapist. Another reason to hate Emmett.

Mannlyman: YOU...GUYS...HATE...ME...?

ihaztehvizion: We have been over this Emmett, your not very popular..

ihaztehvizion: And they're emo, so they hate everything anyway.

Mannylman: I AM TOO POPULAR FO' U FOO!!1111

ihaztehvizion: Uhhhh huhhhhhh...

moodyguy: I am going to go buy some black eyeliner, black nailpolish, black, black vests, black t-shirts, black posters supporting bands like lipstick suicide, a black razor, and a black heart.

-moodyguy leaves the chatroom-

Stupidlamb: -picks up razor- -tries to cut self- -destroys razor with rocklike skin and impossible strength- -fails at cutting self- -fails at life- -ssssiiiigggghhhh-

mannlyman: CAN I BE EMO??/

ihaztehvizion: No.

mannlyman: WHY NOT!!1111

ihaztehvizion: There is a difference between emos and gays Emmett. Not much, but there still is.

Mannlyman: REALLY??/

ihaztehvizion: Yes.

Mannlyman: OH DARN!

-mannlyman leaves the room-

-ihaztehvizion has left the chatroom-

ilostmymeds: I'm going to go write emo poetry.

-ilostmymeds has left the chatroom-

Stupidlamb: Im going to go write in my emo diary.

-stupidlamb has left the chatroom-

Pillowbiter: I'm going to go rip apart Pillow's and pretend they're my soul. Then I will dye my hair black.

-Pillowbiter has left the chatroom-

* * *

**A/N: If your bored then I recommend you go watch Lars on youtube. It's funny. This story was inspired after him.**


	8. Emmett's Venom

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Hannah Montanna**

_**Sorry it's taken me so long to update. School started, and you wouldn't BELIEVE how busy I have been. Also, I have been having trouble with this chapter. I kept writing and rewriting. Well, it's up. Here ya go! -Hayle**_

* * *

-Pillowbiter has entered the chatroom-

-stupidlamb has entered the chatroom-

Pillowbiter: Thank god that's over!!

Stupidlamb: If I ever hear "Welcome to the Black Parade" again, I swear, I'll go crazy.

-mannlyman has entered the chatroom-

mannlyman: HEY GUYS! I JUST GOT THIS NEW CD. IT'S BY MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, AND THEY HAVE THIS REALLY COOL SONG CALLED "WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE"

mannlyman: -PUT'S CD IN STERIO AND TURNS ALL THE WAY UP-

Pillowbiter: Bella... are you alrig-...

Pillowbiter: BELLA! STOP HUMPING RENESMEE!

Mannlyman: ISH BELLA GOING CRAZY??

Stupidlamb: CRAZY WACKED OUT MOM, HAHAHAH FUN, CRAzY!! HAHAHAHA CHILD ABUSE CRAZY!!111 GOING INSANE!

Stupidlamb: CRAzY!! MAKE IT STOP!!1 EMMETT, DO YOU CARE ABOUT MY SANITY??

mannlyman: I THINK YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST IT (AND BY THE LOOKS OF IT, YOUR VIRGINITY TOO)

Stupidlamb: I LOST THAT A LONG TIME AGO!

Pillowbiter: -turns off stereo-

Stupidlamb: OH THANK GOD! That's a relief.

Pillowbiter: Wait a minute.

Pillowbiter: My senses are tingling.

Pillowbiter: OH MY CULLEN!! GASP!

Pillowbiter: THE HUMANS ARE COMING, THE HUMANS ARE COMING!

Stupidlamb: OMC! I COMPLTELY FORGOT ABOUT CHARLIE AND RENEE FROM MY EMONESS!

Pillowbiter: HOW SHOULD WE DISPOSED OF THEM?!

Stupidlamb: EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN! WE CANNOT KILL MY PARENTS!!

Pillowbiter: Darn it!

Mannlyman: WOW I ACTUALLY HAVE AN IDEA.

Pillowbiter: Oh My Cullen! Really? Darn, now we have to call the Guiness Book Of World Records. They will have to find someone else to be the dumbest person alive.

Mannlyman: DARN IT! I WANTED TO GET MEH PICTURE TAKEN!

Stupidlamb: But he's not alive….

Pillowbiter: True… but-

Mannlyman: DOES ANYONE WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY IDEA?!

Stupidlamb: Proceed, Emmett.

Mannlyman: OKAY. YOU GUYS GO TELL CHARLIE AND RENNEE THE TRUTH!! THE TRUTH IS WHAT COUNTS FROM WITHIN. (WATCHES OPERA WHILE SAYING THIS)

Pillowbiter: EMMETT, THAT'S YOUR WORST (AND ONLY) IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD!!

Stupidlamb: Actually, I kinda like it. It makes sense…

Pillowbiter: BELLA!! OH NO! HAVE YOU HAD A CHILL PILL??

Stupidlamb: No……

Pillowbiter: Oh. WELL WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE. WE AGREED WE CAN'T TELL THEM.

Stupidlamb: But Edward, I'm… _tired_ of pretending to be something I'm not. I'm not human, Edward.

_Pillowbiter: _HEY! YOU CAN'T QUOTE ME FROM PAGE 70 OF NEW MOON, WHEN WE ARE FIGHTING!

Stupidlamb: Sorry Edward. I thought it would be funny. Wanna "wrestle"?

Pillowbiter: Absolutely NOT! WE CAN'T WRESTLE DURING A CRISIS!

Pillowbiter: IM OUTTA HERE!

Stupidlamb: EDWARD! COME BACK!

Mannlyman: -PUTS ON MUSIC- -SPEAKER BLARES BABY COME BACK-

Mannlyman: -SINGS- BABY COME BACK TO ME (COME BAAAAAAAAAAAACK) I SHOULD HAVE NEVER SET YOU FREEEE, WE WERE MEANT TO BE.

Stupidlamb: SHUT THE HELL UP, EMMETT!

-Motherlyfigure has entered the chatroom-

-stupidlamb has left the chatroom-

Motherlyfigure: ISABELLA CULLEN!! DON'T USE THAT LANGUAGE NO MATTER HOW STUPID EMMETT IS ACTING!!

-jacobizastalker has entered the chatroom-

Jacobizastalker: But Aunt Esme, you tell Emmett that all the time –flutters eyelids-

Motherlyfigure: Well Renesmee, sometimes we all slip.

Mannlyman: UMMMM GUYS?

Jacobizastalker: Then does it make it okay if I accidentally "slip"

Motherlyfigure: Absolutely not!

Mannlyman: GUYS??

Jacobizastalker: Why not?

Motherlyfigure: Because your soul is still pure.

Mannlyman: GUYS!!

Motherlyfugure: WHAT EMMETT!!

Mannlyman: CHARLIE AND RENEE ARE HERE.

Motherlyfigure: Oh.

Jacobizastalker: Why didn't you tell us that earlier Emmett?

Mannlyman: AND YOU THINK IM THE STUPID ONE!

Jacobizastalker: Are...you...calling...me...Stupid?

Mannlyman: MAYBE I AM!

Jacobizastalker: BRING IT!

Mannlyman: OH, IT"S ON!! IT'S ONNER THEN ON!

Motherlyfigure: SOMEONE GET THE DAMN DOOR ALREADY!!

-stupidlamb has entered the chatroom-

-pillowbiter has entered the chatroom-

stupidlamb: IF NOBODY IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF MY PARENTS, THEN I WILL. DIE, MY PARENT SCUM!! -opens door and lunges at parents throat-

Pillowbiter: BELLA!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! -runs after Bella in dramatical slow motion-

Mannlyman: I WANNA DO IT!! -USES MANNLY STRENGTH AND BITES CHARLIE AND RENEE-

Stupidlamb:...

Pillowbiter:...

jacobizastalker:...

motherlyfigure:...

Pillowbiter: Did Emmett just turn your parents into... werewolfs??

Stupidlamb: Yea. Emmett, you... better...run.

Stupidlamb: HAH! JK! Well thats a load off my shoulders! Thanks Emmett -high fives-

Mannlyman: YOUR WELCOME BELLA! -HIGH FIVES BACK-

Pillowbiter: You do realize that Emmett just turned your parents into werewolfs, right?

Stupidlamb: Yea, so?

Pillowbiter: So?

Pillowbiter: SO!!

Jacobizastalker: Oh, relax Dad. They can go join Hannah Montanna's pack!

Stupidlamb: What a great idea Renesmee! Your the best little accident ever!!

Jacobizastalker: I know I am!

Mannlyman: HEY ESME, WANNA "WRESTLE"? -SUGGESTIVE WINK-

Motherlyfigure: Ewww.

Motherlyfigure: Gross.


	9. iCullen

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**This chapter was FUN to write. I especially like the end ;) Totally!!**

-Hayle

* * *

-Ilikebananas has entered the chatroom-

-stupidlamb has entered the chatroom-

Ilikebananas:-turns iPod on- -sings-

Ilikebananas: Your way too beauifulllll girl

Stupidlamb: I know I'm gorgeous

Ilikebananas: That's why it will never work

Stupidlamb: There was never an 'it" between us. But if you're suggesting I come over tonight… ;)

Ilikebananas: You've got me suicidal, suicidal

Stupidlamb: You say that like it's a bad thing

Ilikebananas: when you say its over

Stupidlamb: Mike, there was never anything going on between us. But if you're suggesting… ;) Just don't tell Edward.

-stupidlamb leaves the chatroom-

-ilikebananas leaves the chatroom-

-mannlyman enters the chatroom-

-ihatewolfshapeshifters has entered the chatroom-

Mannlyman: -TURNS IpOD ON-

Mannlyman: What you gon' do with all that junk?

Mannlyman: All that junk inside your trunk?

Ihatewolfshapeshifters: Did you just call me FAT!!

Mannlyman: I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,

ihatewolfshapeshifters: Thats impossible stupid...

Mannlyman:Get you love drunk off my hump.

Ihatewolfshapeshifters: Emmett, we have been through this. You don't have a hump. Well, it's pathetic sized...

Mannlyman: My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out)

ihatewolfshapeshifters: We did last night. Remember. How come you don't remember these things?! Are you mental. Well you are but... Oh what ev! I'm insulted!!

Ihatewolfshapeshifters: I'm outta here.

Mannlyman: ROSEY! NO!!1

-ihatewolfshapeshifters has left the chatroom-

-mannlyman has left the chatroom-

-moodyguy has entered the chatroom-

-ihaztehvizion has entered the chatroom-

moodyguy: I'm outta time and all I got is 4 minutes

ihaztehvizion: to do what?

moodyguy: I'm outta time and all I got is 4 minutes

ihaztehvizion: You just said that.

moodyguy: I'm outta time and all I got is 4 minutes

ihaztehvizion: I get it, your outta time.

moodyguy: I'm outta time and all I got is 4 minutes

ihaztehvizion: Are you broken or something?

moodyguy: I'm outta time and all I got is 4 minutes

ihaztehvizion: when does it end?

moodyguy: I'm outta time and all I got is 4 minutes

ihaztehvizion: God help me.

moodyguy: I'm outta time and all I got is 4 minutes

ihaztehvizion: SHUT UP!

moodyguy: I'm outta time and all I got is 4 minutes

ihaztehvizion: GAHHHHHHH! WHATEVER JASPER!

-ihaztehvizion has left the chatroom-

moodyguy: Come on  
Yeah  
Break down  
Come on

-moodyguy leaves the chatroom-

-stupidlamb has entered the chatroom-

-pillowbiter has entered the chatroom-

pillowbiter: I kissed a girl and I liked it

stupidlamb: That girl better have been me!

Pillowbiter: The taste of her cherry chap stick

Stupidlamb: -GASP-! I don't wear Cherry Chapstick. Only when Alice makes me... -DOUBLE GASP-! YOU KISSED ALICE??

Pillowbiter: I kissed a girl just to try it, I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

Stupidlamb: WHAT BOYFREIND?? -TRIPLE GASP- IS IT MIKE! PLEASE TELL ME IT'S NOT MIKE. -prays-

Pillowbiter: It felt so wrong

stupidlamb: Good!

Pillowbiter: It felt so right

Stupidlamb: GASP!

Pillowbiter: Don't mean I'm in love tonight

Stupidlamb: YOU... DON'T... LOVE... ME?!

Pillowbiter: I kissed a girl and I liked it, I liked it

Stupidlamb: WHAT GIRL DID YOU KISS!!

Pillowbiter: I kissed Hayle.

Stupidlamb: HAYLE? WHO'S HAYLE?!

Pillowbiter: No one ;)

-pillowbiter leaves chatroom-

stupidlamb: This never happened.

-stupidlamb leaves chatroom-

* * *

**A/N: Like it huh? By the way Bella, haha. Haha.**

-Hayle


	10. Run, Jasper, Run!

**I dont own Twilight**

**Hehe, I got the idea from an icon I saw the other day. Here it is!! Enjoy!!**

* * *

-mannlyman has entered the chatroom-

-moodyguy has entered the chatroom-

mannlyman: IM BORED.

Moodyguy: Me too Emmett. Me too.

Mannlyman: LETS DO SOMETHING!

Moodyguy: Like what?

Mannlyman: SERIOUSLY?

Moodyguy: Sorry Emmett. I forgot how... mentally handicapped you are. I'll think of something.

Mannlyman: APOLOGY ACCEPTED.

Moodyguy: I KNOW! How about we pull a prank on someone.

Mannlyman: OMC! THAT SOUNDS F-U-N!

Mannlyman: -SINGS- F IS FOR FRIENDS WHO DO STUFF TOGETHER

Mannlyman: U IS FOR-

Moodyguy: EMMETT! Focus, dude.

Mannlyman: RIGGGHT.

Mannlyman: OMC! I HAVE THE BESTEST IDEA!

Moodyguy: Yes?

Mannlyman: IT'S SO UNBELIEVABLY PRANK-ISH, THAT ITS LIKE... WHOA!

Moodyguy: Yes?

Mannlyman: HOW ABOUT WE SIT AROUND IN THE SHAPE OF A PENTAGON AND SNIFF BELLA AND ALICES BRA!!111

moodyguy:...

moodyguy:...

moodyguy: I swear, something went wrong during your transformation.

Moodyguy: OMC! I HAVE THE BEST PLAN EVER!!

mannlyman: MY PLANS BETTER!

Moodyguy: Whatevs!

Moodyguy:ANYWAY, lets make Carlisle feel that he has fallen in love with Edward.

Mannlyman: I STILL THINK MY PLANS BETTER!

Moodyguy: WHATEVS!

Mannlyman: FINE! WILL FOLLOW YOUR STUPID PLAN! :P

Moodyguy: -sends some serious passionwaves to Edward and Carlisle-

-ilostmymeds has entered the chatroom-

-pillowbiter has entered the chatroom-

ilostmymeds: WHOA! Sudden wave!

Pillowbiter: You felt it too!

Ilostmymeds: Yeah. I feel... dizzy. Like I'm in love again.

Pillowbiter: Me too.

Moodyguy: -snicker-

Mannlyman: -SNICKER-

Pillowbiter: Carlisle, I think I'm...

ilostmymeds: In love with you?

Pillowbiter: Yeah.

Ilostmymeds: I love you too Edward.

Pillowbiter: BUT WAIT!? What about Bella and Esme.

Ilostmymeds: SCREW THEM!!

ilostmymeds: LETS BE GAYS!

Pillowbiter: YAY FOR GAY!!

moodyguy: -starts howling with laughter- LOL!

Mannlyman: OMC, LOL!!11

-stupidlamb has entered the chatroom-

-motherlyfigure has entered the chatroom-

stupidlamb: Hey guys!

Motherlyfigure: Sup?

Ilostmymeds: GAY!!

pillowbiter: I LOVE YOU CARLISLE!! ;)

moodyguy: OMC, LOL!! WHAT A GRAT IDEA!!

mannlyman: I STILL SAY MY IDEAS BETTER :p

motherlyfigure: Carlisle? Are you gay with Edward?

Ilostmymeds: HELL YEAH!!

stupidlamb: -GASP- EDWARD!! HOW COULD YOU??

motherlyfigure: YOU TOO CARL- wait a minute.

Stupidlamb: I have a feeling Jasper and Emmett are behind this.

Moodyguy: Uh oh.

Mannlyman: I KNOW NOTHING!!

Motherlyfigure: JASPER CULLEN!! YOU CUT THAT OUT IMMEDIATELY!!

moodyguy: NEVER!!

motherlyfigure: DONT MAKE ME HURT FLUFFY!!

moodyguy: NOOOOOOOOO!! ANYTHING BUT FLUFFY!! TAKE EMMETT INSTEAD!

stupidlamb: Fluffy? What's fluffy?

Motherlyfigure: Fluffy is his G.I Joe doll.

Moodyguy: FIRST OF ALL, HE"S A ACTION FIGURE, NOT A DOLL. SECOND OF ALL, TOUCH FLUFFY AND DIE.

Motherlyfigure: LIKE THIS? -takes fluffy and snaps head off-

moodyguy: -GASP-!! FFFLLLUUUFFFFFFYYY!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Motherlyfigure: SHOULD I GO FOR HIS BODY?

Mannlyman: DONT GIVE IN TO HER!!

moodyguy: -grabs fluffy- -stops passionwaves-

ilostmymeds: -stops thinking naughty things about Edward-

pillowbiter: -stops thinking naughty things about Carlisle-

ilostmymeds: Well, that's a relief.

Pillowbiter: Jasper... you... better... run...

stupidlamb: OOOO! CATFIGHT!

Pillowbiter: -lunges after jasper-

moodyguy: -runs from edward-

mannlyman: RUN, JASPER, RUN!

Ilostmymeds: EDWARD! CUT THAT OUT! I WANT TO BE THE ONE TO KILL JASPER!! -runs after edward-

stupidlamb: Things are going to be awkward between Edward and Carlisle now.

Motherlyfigure: This is going to be funny

_**-Jasper flys on by with Edward chasing him and Carlisle chasing Edward-**_

mannlyman: I TOLD YOU MY IDEAS BETTER!

Moodyguy: SHUT UP EMMETT!!

* * *

**A/N: Just for the heads up, I am not intending to insult anyone with this. Thanks**

-Hayle


	11. Punishment

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Hannah Montanna**

I'm sorry I haven't updated in SO long. I have been working on my other stories. It's okay, you can slap me with a fishnugget. Just remember that I didn't do my school project so I could work on this. Wow, aren't I so nice? Enjoy!

* * *

-Painizfun has entered the chatroom-

-Imtehking has entered the chatroom-

-imstrongerthenEmmett has entered the chatroom-

-iLoveJane has entered the chatroom-

imtehking: HEYYYYYYY, PURRRDY LADIES!

Painizfun: Stop horsing around Aro! We are here for an important meeting!

Painizfun: By the way, I find your screename disturbing, Alec.

Ilovejane: No it's not! Its totally wicked AWESOME!

ImstrongerthenEmmett: Guess what guys?!

painizfun: What?

Imtehking: What?

IloveJane: What?

ImstrongerthenEmmett: I'm stronger then Emmett!

Painizfun: Just because you stuff your shirt with pillows, doesn't mean you suddenly become stronger then Emmett, Felix.

Imtehking: That Emmett is a sexy hunk of man!!

painizfun: ...

iloveJane: ...

ImstrongerthenEmmett: ...

iloveJane: Awkward...

painizfun: Speaking of Emmett, that is why I have summoned us together. Something is terribly wrong with Emmett, and he must be stopped.

ImstrongerthenEmmett: Your just figuring this out?

Painizfun: Shut up! I mean past all his... Emmett-ness. There is something wrong with Emmett's venom. Word on the street is Emmett's venom doesn't have the same effect as ours does on humans. When Emmett bites someone, they instead turn into a werewolf/shapeshifter thingy.

Ilovejane: -GASP!- No way!

ImstrongerthenEmmett: -DOUBLE GASP!- Is it true?

Imtehking: So what? Why should we care about those mutts?

Painizfun: That's what I thought at first, but wolf population has dramatically increased. I mean, he's already bitten 3 humans, and one of them was a very popular celebrity, that I'm highly fond of.

ImstrongerthenEmmett: -TRIPLE GASP!- What celebrity was it?!

Painizfun: -SOB- HANNAH MONTANA!!

imtehking: WHAT!! OH NO HE DIDN'T!!

Painizfun: OH YES HE DID!!

ilovejane: Oh Thank God! Her screeching was starting to get to me.

ImstrongerthenEmmett: What...did...you...just...say...Alec?

Imtehking: You...don't...like...Hannah...Montana??

ilovejane: Disney is SO overated.

Painizfun: THAT'S IT!! YOU AND EMMETT CULLEN ARE IN BIGGGGGGGGG TROUBLE!!

ilovejane: But it's true...?

imtehking: HOW SHOULD WE DISPOSE OF THEM BOTH?

ImstrongerthenEmmett: LOCK THEM IN THE DUNGEON AND THROW AWAY THE KEY!!

painizfun: TIE THEM TO A ANCHOR AND THROW THEM IN THE OCEAN!!

imtehking: HAND THEM OVER TO THAT VILE MIKE NEWTON!!

ilovejane: -QUADRUPLE GASP!!- NO! PLEASE, ANYTHING BUT MIKE!! PLEASE??

ImstrongerthenEmmett: LETS GIVE ALICE CULLEN PIXIE STICKS AND A DELUXE MAKEUP BAG AND THROW EMMETT, ALEC, ALICE _AND _MIKE NEWTON IN ALL THE SAME ROOM!

Ilovejane: You wouldn't!

Imtehking: WE WOULD!!

ilovejane: PLEASE!? NO!! I TAKE IT BACK!!

imtehking: (Sings to the tune of Over the river and through the snow) OVER THE RIVER, AND THROUGH THE SNOW, TO FORKS WASHINGTON WE GO!!

painizfun: THE VOLTURI KNOWS THE WAY, TO KILL ANYONE WHO GETS IN OUR WAY

ImstrongerthenEmmett: THROUGH VOLTERRA WE GO!

Ilovejane: NO!!

(**5 Hours Later. Jane, Aro, Felix, Edward and Bella watch Emmett and Alec being tortured with Mike's stupidity and Alice's hyperness)**

Pillowbiter: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

stupidlamb: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

imstrongerthenEmmett: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

imtehking: BWAHAHAHAHA!!

painizfun: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

ilovebananas: I KNOW A SONG THAT GET'S ON EVERYBODYS NERVES...

ihaztehvizion: FELIX!! STOP THAT! YOU WILL RUIN YOUR NAILS! EMMETT COME BACK HERE!! I HAVE TO FIX YOUR MAKEUP...!

MannlyMan: WHY ME?! WHY!! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!

ilovejane: I TAKE IT BACK!! CAN WE GO NOW?!

Pillowbiter: NO!!

Imtehking: NO!!

-moodyguy has entered that chatroom-

moodyguy: Hey guys, whatcha doin...

moodyguy: Seriously, what the hell are you doing?

-ilostmymeds has entered the chatroom-

ilostmymeds: You know Jasper, I don't think you were ever properly punished after the incident...

Pillowbiter: I agree Carlisle. -evil grin-

Stupidlamb: I think I know where this is going...

Moodyguy: Meep!!

ilovebananas: I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!

Ihaztehvizion: -eats more pixie sticks- COMEEEEEE BAAACCCCKKKK EEMMMMEEETTTTTTTTT!!

* * *

I like reviews!! Do it or die! I mean, please review. PLEASE?!


	12. Nothing But The Truth

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

I know, I know. I haven't updated in FOREVER! I could give you a million excuses, but.... I'll save your time. So here it is.

By the way, icameouttanowhere is just a random character that I created.

* * *

-Pillowbiter has entered the chatroom-

-stupidlamb has entered the chatroom-

stupidlamb: Oooo, that was fun Edward!

Pillowbiter: -drools- Then why'd we stop?

Stupidlamb: Ummm because I had a feeling we should get on the computer.

Pillowbiter: A little more? Pleasssse?!?

Stupidlamb: Nooo, I wanna follow my intuition.

Pillowbiter: -scoffs- Woman.

Stupidlamb: -scoffs- Men.

-icameouttanowhere has entered the chatroom-

Stupidlamb: Told ya so ;)

Pillowbiter: Oh, what ever!

Icameouttanowhere: Ohmigod, lyk, HI!

Pillowbiter: Ummmm....hi?

Stupidlamb: Hi!!!! -frantically waves hand around-

icameouttanowhere: Lyk, how r u all lyk doin?

Stupidlamb: GREAT!

Pillowbiter: Ummmm, who are you?

Icameouttanowhere: I'm, lyk, Jenna. I lyk came outta nowhere in lyk particular!

Pillowbiter: I see that...

icameouttanowhere: ME R A SCARY VAMPIRE!!! RAWR!!!

icameouttanowhere: Now me is depressant. -sigh-

icameouttanowhere: NOW ME IS REALLY FRICKEN HACKEN MAD AT YOU ALL!!!! WTH?!?!?!?!

icameouttanowhere: AnD nOw Me Is CrAzY hYpEr! WhEhEhEhE!!!!!!!!!!!

Stupidlamb: Whoa.

Stupidlamb: Your more bipolar then Emmett.

Pillowbiter: And that's hard to top.

Stupidlamb: Extremely.

Stupidlamb: So your a Vampire, huh? Us too! :D

icameouttanowhere: OHMIGOD that is lyk, SO HACKEN COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

icameouttanowhere: ME IS A SPECIAL VAMPIRE. ME MAKE PEOPLE ADMIT THE TRUTH!!!!!!! SO COOL!!!!!

Pillowbiter: Whoa, that's an awesome power.

Icameouttanowhere: OF COURSE IT'S AN AWESOME POWER YOUR MORON.

Stupidlamb: I think this person would get along well with Emmett.

-mannlyman has entered the chatroom-

Mannlyman: HEYYYYYY YALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

Pillowbiter: -sigh- Hi Emmett.

Icameouttanowhere: HI MISTER MAN THEY CALL EMMETT!

Mannlyman: HI MISTER WOMAN THEY CALL "icameouttanowhere"

icameouttanowhere: HEHEHE! IM A VAMPIRE!!!

Mannlyman: OHMIGOD THATS SO COOL! ME IS A WEREWOLF

Pillowbiter: -nudges Emmett- You mean Vampire.

Mannlyman: I MEAN VAMPIRE!

Icameouttanowhere : ME IS A SPECIAL VAMPIRE!

Mannlyman: -GASP- I'M A RETARTED VAMPIRE!

Mannlyman: MY MOMMY TELLS ME THAT EVERY MORNING!

Icameouttanowhere: MY MOMMY TELLS ME THAT TOO!

Stupidlamb: They're so cute together.

Pillowbiter: Whatever you say, dear.

-jacobizastalker has entered the chatroom-

jacobizastalker: Mommy, Daddy, Im bored.

Stupidlamb: How about you watch Emmett be stupid with mommy and daddy. It's more fun then watching a trainwreck.

Jacobizastalker: Ooooo okay!

Icameouttanowhere:I CAN MAKE PEOPLE SAY THE TRUTH!!!

-ihaztehvizion has entered the chatroom-

ihaztehvizion: EMMETT CULLEN DONT YOU DARE SAY WHAT YOUR ABOUT TOO!

Mannlyman:.....OOOOOO CAN WE EXPERIENCE IT???????!!!!!!!!!

icameouttanowhere: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ihaztehvizion: NOOOOOOOOOOOoOOOoOooOoOOoOOOOOooooooooooooo!

Icameouttanowhere: -sends mystical truth waves at everyone- -everyone goes in trance-

icameouttanowhere: Now tell me, who do you all have the "hots" for?

Stupidlamb: -in trance- Mike Newton

Pillowbiter: -in trance- Asparagus

jacobizastalker: -in trance- Carlisle.

Ihaztehvizion: -in trance- Aro

Mannlyman: -IN TRANCE- MICHAEL JACKSON

icameouttanowhere: -evil laughter- That was all I needed to know.

Pillowbiter: -comes out of trance- Wait a minute, don't you write for "The Vampire Times"

icameouttanowhere: -evil laughter- Yupp. And I think I just found my next cover story.

Stupidlamb: -comes out of trance- GASP! That was terrible of you!

Jacobizastalker: That was mean!

Ihaztehvizion: EMMETT!!!!!!!!

mannlyman: AHHHHHH WHATEVER. EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW ANYWAY.

Icameouttanowhere: BAHAHAHAHA! I love my job!


	13. Bella's Little Slip

**Hey Guys!  
Remember me?**

**I'm SORRY I havent updated in so long! Im just SOOOO LAZY! I'll try to be better! Will you forgive me?**

**Now, enjoy!**

* * *

-Iwishiwasbella has entered the chatroom-

-stupidlamb has entered the chatroom-

Iwishiwasbella: OMG! Bella! I haven't talked 2 u in lyk, 4EVER!

Stupidlamb: OMG! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH ANGELA!!!

Iwishiwasbella: Uhh, this isn't Angela

Stupidlamb: Awww, I'm sorry Eric

Iwishiwasbella:......This isn't Eric either

Stupidlamb: Really? Are you sure?

Iwishiwasbella: WHAT? Of COURSE Im sure!

Stupidlamb: Oh yeah! Silly me, I remember now! I've missed you so much Ben!

Iwishiwasbella: IT'S JESSICA!!

Stupidlamb: OOOOO JESSICA SIMPSON!???

Iwishiwasbella: -slaps head- No, Jessica Stanley!

Iwishiwasbella: Has your moody hot gorgeous abnormally pale husband made you gone crazy?

Stupidlamb: Ooooo, my husband IS moody hot gorgeous and Abnormally pale!

-pillowbiter has entered the chatroom-

Iwishiwasbella: YOUR HUSBANDS SO HOT I JUST WANNA ***censored*** HIM!

Pillowbiter:..........

Pillowbiter: Ummm, I'll come back later.....

-pillowbiter has left the chatroom-

Stupidlamb: Hmmmm.....Jessica Stanley.....I don't remember you.

Stupidlamb: Wait! Wait a minute, its there....wait for it.....

Stupidlamb: Nawwww it's gone.

Iwishiwasbella:Ugh. Well anyways, how are things for you? What's happened in the past few years?

-ihaztehvizion has entered the chatroom-

ihaztehvizion: BELLA CULLEN, DON'T YOU DARE HIT THAT ENTER KEY!

Stupidlamb: Well, after the wedding......edward took me to isle esme and got me knocked up then we went back home and edward became almost as emotional as jasper and then this monsterbaby creature thing started growing in me but I loved it anyway because hey im bella and I can do whatever the hell I want and edward freaked out because edwards a vampire (GASP) and this baby was a mutant so edward asked jacob to rape me then jacob asked me if he could rape me and I said no and roaslie protected me from everyone and I drank blood and the baby got happy and then the baby nearly killed me then edward heard the babies thought because edward can read minds (SURPRISE) and he got all happy with the baby and everyones fine except for emo jacob then out pops baby renesmee (ISNT IT A WONDERFULL NAME?!?!?!) and theres blood everywhere and edward bites me and tries to turn me into a vampire and it works even though I was basically dead but I am bella and im just that cool so I wake up and im not the bloodcrazed vampire newborn that I is supposed to be because im just so wonderfull and then I try to kill jacob because he imprints on my nessie and then a bunch more goes on and edward and I wrestle every night and life is miserably perfect but then conflict comes back into the story and the volturi comes to kill us and alice runs away and a bunch of crazy vampires come over and then the volturi comes and we stand around for a while and politely talk about our slaughter and then I save the day in some way or form that im not really sure how id did it but id did so then the volturi walks away and everyone worships me because I.....AM.....BELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Iwishiwasbella:..............................

Iwishiwasbella: 0.0

ihaztehvizion: Real nice Bella. You pulled an Emmett.

Stupidlamb: Awww, your welcome Alice.

-ilostmymeds has entered the chatroom-

ilostmymeds: BELLA! Have you lost your mind?!?

-renesmeeissexy has entered the chatroom-

renesmeeissexy: HEY! I'm Not THAT emo!

-ihatewolfshapeshifters has entered the chatroom-

ihatewolfshapeshifters: I blame her lack of memory from all the wrestling.

Iwishiwasbella: 0.0

-pillowbiter has entered the chatroom-

pillowbiter: BELLA! That's it, no wrestling for a month!

Stupidlamb: AWWWWWWW!!!! Darnit!

Iwishiwasbella: 0.0

-mannlyman has entered the chatroom-

mannlyman: HAS ANY1 SEEN MEH BARBIE DOLL?

Renesmeeissexy: Oh, sorry Emmett. I was using it as a Rosalie Voodoo doll

mannlyman: THATS OKAY. I DO THE SAME

ihaztehvizion: PEOPLE! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ihaztehvizion: Now, we have 3 options:

ihaztehvizion: We either bite Jessica

ihaztehvizion: Kill her

ihaztehvizion: Or have Emmett bite her.

Stupidlamb: As much as I'm leaning toward option 2....

Stupidlamb: I'm going to go with option 3!!!!!

Iwishiwasbella:0.0

Iwishiwasbella: meep!


	14. OMG, A FUNSIZED Chapter!

**Oh, dear god Emmett**

**I call this chapter "Funsized!" :D**

* * *

-mannlyman has entered the chatroom-

mannlyman: LALALALALALA OHHH WHAT A BEAUTIFULL DAY!

mannlyman: CAPS LOCK? WHAT DOES THAT DO?

_**(Emmett pushes the CAPS LOCK button)**_

mannlyman: test. test

mannlyman: oh no. oh no no no no no!!111

mannlyman: noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!11111 the big letters!!!!!!!!!!!!! theyre gone!!!!!!!!!!

mannlyman: I dont seem as stupid anymore!111111111111111111111

mannlyman: or obnoxious!11111111111

mannlyman: or rudeeeee

mannlyman: or emmett-ish!

mannlyman: oh why must fate be so cruel!!!!!!!!!!

mannlyman: whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy????????????????//////////

-mannlyman has left the chatroom-


	15. Such Little Letters!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Dr. Phil. Happy?**

**Yess, I'm back! Haha, happy end of the school year to those who have finally escaped purgatory.:)**

* * *

**-mannlyman has entered the chatroom-**

mannlyman: such small letters

mannlyman: -bangs head on keyboard-

mannlyman: oh why oh why oh why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mannlyman: wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhh the pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mannlyman: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the suffering!

**-ihatewolfshapeshifters has entered the chatroom-**

ihatewolfshapeshifters: Where have you been for the past week, Emmett?!

mannlyman: oh rosey posey, ive been awful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111 ive been curled up in a fetal position under our bed and sobbing dry tears!!!!!!!!!!!

ihatewolfshapeshifters:.......And why would you do that Emmett?

Mannlyman: because when i type now, all my letters are small. ohhhhhhhhh the aggonyyyyyyyyyyyyy

ihatewolfshapeshifters: That's it Emmett! I've had it with you and your stupidity!!! Im getting you help!

**-ihatewolfshapeshifters has left the chatroom-**

mannlyman: -sings- baby come back. you can blame it alll on meeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

mannlyman:.................

mannlyman: -ohhhhhhhh epic sobbbbbbbbb-

mannlyman: even my obnoxious singing doesn't have the same effect anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mannlyman: my dreamsssssss have been crushed!

**-stupidlamb has entered the chatroom-**

mannlyman: now ill never get to be an astronaut/firefighter/terrorist/president of the united states!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111

stupidlamb: Uhhh, Emmett, how does typing in big letters help you succeed in becoming a astronaut/firefighter/terrorist/president of the united states!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111?

Mannlyman: i dunno, but it would make sense if the big letters came back -snifffffff-

Stupidlamb: Wowwwwww, lol!

mannlyman: dont laugh at meh pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111

mannlyman: ohhhhhhhh -epic sob-

Stupidlamb: Emmett, just hit the caps lock button and the big letters will come back. Duh! Even Edward knew that!

Mannlyman: but i dont know how 2 read!!!!!!!!

**-pillowbiter has entered the chatroom-**

pillowbiter: What do you mean even Edward knew that?

Stupidlamb: Aww, Im sorry Eddieweddie. You're just not good with electronics.

Pillowbiter: What are you talking about?! I'm Edward Cullen! I'm beautiful, I'm perfect in every way, and I have girls all over the world thinking naughty things about me! Of course I'm good with electronics!!!!!!!

Stupidlamb:...Oh yeah, how could I forget? I only hear this speech EVERY DAY! *twitch twitch* C'mon Edward, lets go wrestle for a while!

Pillowbiter: mutters under breath -wivesjustalwaysseemtoforgethowsuperiortherehusbandsarewelliamamazingonsomanylevels.........

mannlyman: marriage counseling.................

**-ifixyourwellbeing has entered the chatroom-**

ifixyourwellbeing: Did I hear someone needs marriage counseling?

Mannlyman: gasp! opera?!

Ifixyourwellbeing: No.

mannlyman: gasp! dr. fil?

Ifixyourwellbeing: It's Phil. Not fil.

Mannlyman: okay fil

ifixyourwellbeing: -grumble grumble-

Stupidlamb: That's okay Dr. Phil. According to Stephenie Meyer, my marriage is perfect and everyone else should have a marriage just like mine!

Ifixyourwellbeing: And why are you so sure of that?

Stupidlamb: CAUSE I....AM....BELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stupidlamb: ATTACK MY FLYING MONKIES!!!

Pillowbiter: We had those for dinner Monday night.

Stupidlamb: ATTACK EMMETT!

Mannlyman: yes mam. -bites -

-ifixyourwellbeing wont be on his screen name ever again because he's now a full time dedicated werewolf in Hannah Montannas pack-

Stupidlamb: Cmon Edward, lets go wrestle!

Pillowbiter: Anything for you love!

**-stupidlamb has left the chatroom-**

**-pillowbiter has left the chatroom-**

mannlyman: but wait, you never helped me with my affliction.

Mannlyman: wait, did I just say affliction?

Mannlyman: gasp! omg the less obnoxious letters are making me smarter!!!!!!!!!!1111111

mannlyman: whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -sobbbbbbbbbbb-

**-mannlyman has left the chatroom-**


	16. Goodbye!

Hello Watchers, Fans, Haters, and Acquaintances.

First off, I must apologize for never updating. I personally hate it when authors never update, and leave an awesome story hanging. It has been rude and selfish of me for leaving you with a cliff hanger.

And I must say, that I am retiring from Fanfiction. Or at least from the Twilight section of it, for honestly, I have lost my love of Twilight. Between the movie, Breaking Dawn, the juvenile fangirls, and the haters, Twilight has just lost it's fun. I'm finding it very hard too write a story about a subject I have no interest in.

I'm sorry for keeping you anticipated, only too let you down. It has been fun, collecting my own little fan group. I'm sure you hate me, and you have every reason too.

With all my love,

Hayle


End file.
